John Kasich: Rumblin', Bumblin', Stumblin'
Anyone who has watched ESPN’s SportsCenter has probably heard Chris Berman’s signature line “Rumblin, Bumblin, Stumblin,” referring to a situation when a fumble or interception is picked up by a large, less-than-athletic lineman (i.e. someone who really shouldn’t have the ball in their hands) who then attempts to run it into the end zone for a touchdown.
Watching the opening ten days of John Kasich’s governorship shows that he, just like that 350 pound defensive tackle lucky enough to scoop up a fumbled ball, really shouldn’t have the ball in his hands. In 10 days Gov. Kasich has:
- Accidentally proclaimed St. Patrick’s Day, March 17th, as Martin Luther King day.
- Assembled the first all-white Ohio cabinet since the Civil Rights Act passed.
- Got caught lying through his goddamned teeth by none other than the Dispatch (R-Columbus) who has spent the last few months delivering sloppy wet kisses to his posterior.
- Pissed away $400 Million in Race to the Top funding for no other purpose than to undo Gov. Strickland’s signature legislative accomplishment.
- Proposed opening up Ohio’s state parks to drilling for natural gas using the dangerous “fracking” technology that has been banned in other states due to its contaminating groundwater.
- Proposed privatizing the state’s Department of Liquor Control, ignoring the obvious conflict of interest in that it could reap a huge windfall for his campaign donors.
Unfortunately, unlike that rumbling 350-pound lineman whose ineptitude will end when he either reaches the end zone or gets tackled, we can look forward to 4 more years of this nonsense.



